I’m flying to California again this weekend for Dustin’s wedding. This weekend will be jam packed. It’ll probably take me a week to recover from this weekend too. The only thing that I’ve been stressing out over is the Best Man Toast during the wedding. I love a stage as much as anyone, but I feel the need to be funny. I have a hard time forcing funning. More importantly then being funny is just what to say. I’ve been reading a bunch of How To‘s off the interwebs and they all say one thing. DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH BEFORE GIVING YOUR TOAST! Ok Ok Ok, I get it. Sober speech = good.
They also say to share some personal moments. I have lots of stories I could tell, but I’m not sure if they are wedding appropriate. Like the one about Dustin’s doughnuts. He and I used to be roommates. We had an apartment in Benicia, CA. Many of good times happened at that apartment. Dustin was very free with himself, and still is, and did things like poop with the door open so he could talk to me, or come sit next to me naked on the couch while I watched TV or played video games. That used to make me uncomfortable even though he would cross his legs and cover himself with a couch cushion. Well, one day Dustin took a shower and then went immediately into his bedroom. A couple of minutes later he comes walking out of his room naked. No big deal. I’m used to this by now, but they he starts doing jumping jacks. With each jump little puffs of powder spout from his genitalia. While still wet he caked his ball sack with talc powder, and it made it look dough like. It’s at this point Dustin’s doughnuts were born.
Think I can get away with sharing a story like that in my toast?
#1 by theKirkness on June 2nd, 2008
i think we need to add “Doughnuts” and “hamburgers” to the Special In-n-Out fantasy menu.