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You go to a Chinese restaurant, gorge yourself silly, crack open your fortune cookie, read your fortune, add “in bed” to the end of it and chuckle , right? Of course you do. We all do.

Last time I “in bed”ed my fortune I didn’t chuckle. Instead I swallowed hard, and hoped that this fortune, like all of its predecessors, would be untrue. My fortune read “Things are not always what them seem. It’s not that bad!”

Lets “in bed” that bad boy. “Things are not always what them seem. It’s not that bad in bed!” WHAT?! Things are not what the seam in bed? EFF THAT! What a crappy fortune! I want a refund! Or at least a do over!