10 years and a couple days ago my first band, G2K, played its first show. We set up the show with 2 other bands. We opened the show. Looking back it was a terrible awkward mess. There is a video of that show floating around somewhere between our friends. Dear lord I hope it never surfaces.

I worked with a guy named Jessie. He was the drummer for the 2nd band that night. They were called A.R. Cool guys that played Deftone covers. Over the years I became really good friends with those guys.

The 3rd band was DWB. I’m not sure how we knew them. I think Dustin knew their drummer John Riggs who would later join our band. DBW brought a lot of nazi looking fans. It was slightly intimidating for our first show out.

We rocked MVP Pizza HARD. So hard that they closed down that night and never opened again. Well… That’s our story and we’re sticking to it!

The summer between 7th and 8th grade I made the decision to move out of my Mom’s place in Oregon, and back to the Bay Area in California to live with my dad. The decision was pretty difficult to make. I loved my mother, but I was tired of the physical abuse, and even though my dad never hit me, I feared him from all of the thoughts my mom put in my head. What made me change my mind was a mini bribe from my dad. My dad had a friend, Ben. Ben was about 16 years old and was a kick ass lead guitarist. My dad said he would buy me a bass guitar if I wanted to learn so I could jam with Ben. That was a great opportunity in my eyes. Plus, Ben’s sister was cute… Need I say more?

During my 8th grade year I took bass lessons, 9th grade came around and Ben moved. My dad and I would still jam, but drums and bass guitar just aren’t as cool without a guitar player. I pretty much just gave up playing and moved on to football.

While in high school I became really good friends with a guy named Matt. He was a really good bassist. He also sang for a band that 2 of my other friends played in. At the end of our senior year Matt was kicked out of his house and my dad and grandma said he could move in.

Matt’s band wasn’t really doing anything and he knew I used to play bass so he said we should start a band, but he wanted to play drums. Soon we were jamming and talked about asking the guitarist, Dustin, from his old band to come over and jam. Dustin and I were friends when I was in 8th grade and we talked as we passed each other in high school, so I was down to jam with him.

We wrote a song or two and started looking for a singer. We tried out my buddy Ryland, but he just wanted to rap. Dustin knew Chris, and he had his own PA system. As any young band knows… If someone has a PA system, then it is mandatory that they join your band. No questions asked.

The 4 of us would practice in Dustin’s garage for 8-10 hours a day. We would piss off all of the neighbors for our screamy loud music, but Dustin’s dad always stood up for us (Thanks Steve!). Soon, we thought we were ready for our first show and booked.

I loved playing live. We sucked, but it was lots of fun. We played a ton of shows, got sick and tired of our drummer, kicked him out and asked John to join. Adding John really increased our talent level. We started getting better shows, and more fans. I was having the time of my life.

Years later Dustin and John had a falling out. Dustin left the band and Chris and I followed. The three of us joined up with another group of guys that recently disbanded and we called ourselves Forgive The Day.

Forgive the Day had a good run for 9 months, and than Dustin and I got tired of the dynamics, or lack there of, between the 3 of us and the three of them. We talked to Chris and the three of us quit the band.

A year or two later G2K resurrected. We wrote a few much heavier songs and played a few shows. When it came time to record and do pre-production Chris and I had a falling out. I walked away from the band.

That brings us to today, reliving the life that once was. Thinking if I only had known then what I know now. I’m not sure if I would want to change it though. It was a great five years of my life and it lead me to my current path. I still have a bunch of CDs and mp3s from “the good’ole days”, and when I’m old I’ll be able to show my kid(s) that their old man used to be cool.

Songs inspired by my mother and childhood.

Standing
Line up the empty bottles on your favorite cutting glass.
Take a deep breath in. Does that feeling last?
Watch the moments of pain. Slowly drift away.
Your whole life has past you by. You don’t even realize.

I’m Just standing here in this darkness.
Wondering if you’ll come back home.
Maybe pick up the phone.

I was so young. Yes, I was the innocent one.
I did what ever you pleased just to make you so proud of me.
But now I’ve grown up. I’ve felt the pain of my cuts.
My whole life has past you by. You don’t even realize. 

I’m Just standing here in this darkness.
Wondering if you’ll come back home.
Maybe pick up the phone. 

Did you ever think that things would be the same?
How could you let things go on this way?
Never could my word express me this way.
Please don’t cry. Save that for another day. 

I’m Just standing here in this darkness.
Wondering if you’ll come back home.
Maybe pick up your phone.

Give You
Hey where are you going?
Please don’t leave me here for too long.
Vicious cycle in motion.
In your eyes you can do no wrong. 

And I watch you drink away your life
Just like your Father you cannot swallow your pride 

Hey you take a moment
Maybe I can comprehend
Tell me your story
I’ll listen till the very end 

And I watch you drink away your life
Just like your Father you cannot swallow your pride 

If you can’t talk
I’ll give up trying
I’ll walk on by and
Wash my hands and no more
Crying about you
That’s the last straw I’ll ever
Give you
I’ll give you
I’ll give you.

Embrace
She said, “This hurt me more then it hurts you.”
But I’m the one forced to wear this badge of black and blue
Cutting through the air it crashes down
Deep breath in and swallow don’t make a sound

Let the blood run down my face
I no longer feel the pain.
Stood my ground in her embrace
Feeling numb and far away

So far away

I pick myself up from the cold hard floor
Dust myself off head straight for the door
I hear her shouting, “Come back here like a man!”
I do the right thing I don’t take a chance.

Let the blood run down my face
I no longer feel the pain.
Stood my ground in her embrace
Feeling numb and far away

So far away

I never told anybody
Never did I expose her
But now I have this pen and paper
My fear was her greatest power

Let the blood run down my face
I no longer feel the pain.
Stood my ground in her embrace
Feeling numb and far away

So far away

I’ve been working on this song for a while… Ok, more then a while. Years. It started off just with a riff and a few lyrics for the chorus. A few weekends ago I add a riff and lyrics for the verse. Last week I set up a mic and recorded a small sample. I hope to record the full song in the near future.

Have a listen:
Photo (Demo Version)

Lyrics:
I’m staring at this old photo
Only one thing to do
Rip it to shreds little pieces
This photo tainted by you

You say I’m a terrible man
I had this all coming
I had this all coming
All I did was give you my world
You never returned it
You never returned it

I’m staring at this old photo
Only one thing to do
Rip it to shreds little pieces
This photo tainted by you

Now I hear you are running away
To make everything ok
To make everything ok
But I could give a good god damn
You are dead to me
You’re dead to me

I’m staring at this old photo
Only one thing to do
Rip it to shreds little pieces
This photo tainted by you

Driving around town last weekend Patricia pulls out her GnR Appetite For Destruction cassette. This thing was well loved. By well loved I mean it looked like a puppy chewed on the corner. I’m sure it had many hours of back to back play with her singing along to it  just like my copy did.  Appetite For Destruction is one of those albums that you have on your greatest albums of all time list. One that you can play straight through from the first track to the last without skipping any songs.

That made me start to think about all of the other albums on my list. I had to really think about this for a while now. I had forgotten about some of these and my musical tastes have matured. So here’s my list.

Tool – Aenima (Hands down my favorite album ever)
Guns N’ Roses – Appetite For Destruction
Green Day – Dookie & American Idiot
Dredg – El Celio
Metallica – Metallica (Black)
Insane Clown Posse – The Amazing Jeckel Brothers
30 Seconds to Mars – A Beautiful Lie
Dave Matthews Band – Crash & Busted Stuff
Phil Collins – No Jacket Required
Run-D.M.C. – Tougher Then Leathe
A Perfect Circle – Thirteenth Step (Another Maynard James Keenan band… Surprising!)
Aerosmith – Big Ones (OK Ok ok… So it’s not a “real” studio album. Its a greatest hits, but it had 3 new songs on it! Doesn’t that count?!)

Now I ask you. What are your favorite albums of all time?